A professor of mine has been drilling into the brains of his students the importance of being an artist and how hard it is to be an artist because no one, but an artist, knows what that means. There is always a compromise that comes with it. Especially, I have seen, for women, but I won't go any further with that issue right now. If you are an artist, it is a hobby. Something you do besides raising your kids, or working a 'regular' job, or teaching at a college. I read an article today that says that maybe this recession will be helpful for contemporary artists. It explains that the art that has been created recently, the art that has been bought for millions of dollars, is art that is on the edge, on the extreme side. So now that money is tight, galleries and museums and even private buyers aren't putting the money out for those 'avant garde' pieces. So this opens the door for more artists who aren't already millionaires to produce some good honest work that will be bought at a fair price, a living wage price even.
I like that idea.
Still, it's hard to explain to someone that I want to be a studio artist. I want to create for creation's sake. I want to explore color and form. I am not even thinking about testing the boundaries of those things, yet. Every time I say, I want to work on my work, the question in the back of the listeners mind and that usually comes out is, "Yeah, but, what are you going to do?"
What am I going to do? I am going to create something that people need around them. I am going to observe things in a way that maybe someone didn't see them(the things), or give a feeling that someone had forgotten about when he/she sees a seascape, or landscape or bird.
It's what artists do and it doesn't seem to be appreciated enough as a career choice. It's weird, I think.
I think the same goes for writers and poets.

I think I might know of one person out there who is spending the bulk of his time being true to his artistic self and I think maybe his wife supported them through the earlier, leaner years. But the rest of the artists I know always say things like, "I wish I had the time to work on my own thing". When do we ever get to do that? If an artist is lucky, during a Master's program. So that sets us up to be artists, but when we get out, what do we have to do? Go find a job teaching. It's the only way, most professors will tell you.
I had another professor tell me the other day, that if I really wanted this, I would, from here on out, have to work super hard because of my situation. But she said I could do it and that made me feel good and a little hopeless, to be honest.
I feel like I might be complaining. Sorry about that if it sounds like it. You know there is a lot going on and I have to rethink the way I think about things and am discovering some contradictions and dichotomies that I hadn't really seen before. Things in the world and in my personal life/history. So I throw them out there to you all to read.


And since I am doing that, I might as well throw some other works that I have done recently. Just so the page doesn't look so bleak and bare.

The first painting is an abstraction of a landscape from the summer here...dry but clear.
The second one is a seascape I did for Jason for Christmas, which I hope he takes sometime soon along with the other things I made for him, because I made them for him.

The last is one of my favorites because it is a painting that Henry and I did together. It's the road to Baskett Slough, a wildlife refuge close by. I think I am going to try to go out there soon. I haven't been there since, at least, early October. Sad, because it isn't more than ten miles away. Sad because it is one of my favorite places here.

Best to all and all to best,
Beth